Clariyah
Suicide
I am a person of survival
But growing up, that was not really my title
A dead soul who was screaming for revival
A young girl who became suicidal
I felt the hits and the kicks of society
Probably the reason why I suffer from anxiety
I was never in the form of perfection
So I became the best example of neglection
They called me names from fat bitch to white trash
To other shit I won't say, it's that bad
They called me up and would always need back up
Call me a slut and say my family was jacked up
Death threats every time I logged on
Always on some other shit, damn here we go again
I was already alone, now I am looking for a friend
Got no friends so here I am wishing it would end
And it didn't, it never did, was always something
Every time I felt good, they would remind me I was nothing
Every time I was down they couldn't help themselves but kick me
It tore me apart, took all the fight I had left in me
I had enough, I was so fucking done
I couldn't face all the drama so I decided to run
But you can't run forever, eventually you'll get tired
So I just stared at the rope, wishing my life would expire
I mean fuck it, if I am really nothing
Then nobody would stop me from taking that rope and jumping
So I took it, tied it around my little throat and proceeded to jump
When my mom bust in the door, I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to say
I saw the tears in her eyes, I felt the pain go away
How could I be so selfish, how could I think I am nothing?
When the person who gave me life obviously thought I was something
Now I pray, pray for the people who never saw the light
Pray for the people who still cry at night
And those people will think of my words like protection
Think of them as the light when you fight depression
Cos I know what it's like, I been there before
But for every close room, I'm here to open a door, I'm here to open a door