You could say I’m plastered, ‘cause I hit the wall
I lost count after 21, in the college crawl
I been a boozin’ bastard
They’re callin’ me Edward Forty-hands can’t touch anyone
With an enemy like me, who would need a friend?
Nevermind I’m drunk

Well we’ve had enough power since the blackout started for an
EKG for the broken hearted
I’d try to see the glass as half full. But I’d probably just drink that too

I’m the reason they call it an “Irish Goodbye”
And I hope I don’t choke on my vomit tonight
Well I bet that a bottle of brandy so bitter’d be better than bitin’ the bullet and betterin’ myself. Sorry if I slur
Take my anxiety and my sobriety, I’ll kill two birds with one stoner
So if you see me please, take my keys, I don’t wanna be an organ donor

Well we’ve had enough power since the blackout started for an
EKG for the broken hearted
I’d try to see the glass as half full. But I’d probably just drink that too

I’m going down and I’m taking you with me
I’m bringing the water to the horse
Bring me the hair of the dog that bit me
So I can clone it and have a little more