Lookin' at you with your seven toes
Always there when I'm tastin' the woes
Your shit stinks worse than the rest
But my honey, I think you're the best
You are the best
Oh, oh, oh, you are the best

Catchin' flies like no pussy can
You're more faithful than any man
So soft & sweet & beautiful
I never ever wanna let you go
And you're never dull
No! No! No!
You're never dull

'Cause you're my friend, Edgar
My friendly friend, Edgar
My feline friend, Edgar
My friendly friend, Edgar

You're named after that Poe dude
Love a spankin' if you're in the mood
So soft and sweet and cuddly
Baby, baby make me wanna sing

And I think you're the best!
Yes, yes, yes!
I think you're the best

Stand by me through thick & thin
Cryin' at the door I'll let you in
Lookin' at you with your loving eyes
So young but you seem so wise

Eatin' food before Miso can
Chewin' plastic on the garbage can
Love a nip when you wanna get high
Piss in the shower cause you're so fly!
My friendly friend, my feline friend...