I'll stare in the sun too long
And burn my eyes out
I'll hold my hand on the store
And melt my flesh off

Dare me to jump and I'll be the first
Can't push me too far cuz I'm always the worst!

I'll be the one who's actually dumb
I'll be the one to do the things that no one's done
I'll be the first one to take the dare
Cuz I'm number 1!
I'm not scared!

I'll shave my nose off
I'll chop my baby toe off
I'll tattoo my eyes from the inside
So I can see it!

I'll pierce my colon
So my shit comes out like Play Dough
I'll knock my tooth out
I'll slice my ear lobe!

I'll be the one who's actually dumb
I'll be the one to do the things that no one's done
I'll be the first one to take the dare
Cuz I'm number 1!
I'm not scared!

You can't stop me
You can't shock me
I'm too crazy!
Cuz I'd tattoo my head
I'd chop off my leg
And don't think I won't fucking do it!

I'll be the one who's actually dumb
I'll be the one to do the things that no one's done
I'll be the first one to take the dare
Cuz I'm number 1!
I'm not scared!