[Intro]

[Sonic]
He’s too damn slow, yeah, even for a fox

[Mario]
He’s scared of Koopa shells and question blocks

[Sonic]
Anyone can fly a plane

[Mario]
Anyone can vacuum ghosts

[Sonic & Mario]
But it’s not easy being loved the most

[Luigi]
F*ck it

[Luigi and Tails]
Ready player two! Ready ready player player two!
Ready player two! Ready ready player player two!
It’s time to raise my voice, It’s time to make some noise!
‘Cause I’m a second choice, I’m just a second choice!
So-called protagonist, You mold my agonies!
I get up off my knees, I'm pressing start now!
[Luigi]
I’m tired of being a bother

[Tails]
A player two equals zero

[Luigi]
It’s always Mario Brothers

[Tails]
And Sonic Heroes

[Luigi and Tails]
Rise up against glory hedgehogs
And mushroom-swallowing gluttons
New game plus awaits, Now we smash buttons!
We’re not your clockwork toys, Wound up with just your voice
Always a second choice, We're not a second choice
So-called protagonists, You mold our agonies
We're getting off our knees, We're smashing start now

[Luigi and Tails]
Ready player two! Ready ready player player two!
Ready player two! Ready ready player player two!
Ready player two! Ready ready player player two!
Ready player two! Ready ready player player!