[Verse 1]
Lately
You've been feeling
That the bad boy's only making you feel badder
(Excuse my grammar)
But, baby
You’re revealing
That you’re looking for a different type of man, yeah

Other guys are crazy
Screw them, baby
You don’t need that raunchy stuff
Too much fun has made you numb
But I think I can sponge it up

[Chorus 1]
I’m so predictable
I’m crazy boring, baby
I push moderation to the extreme
I stick to ritual
My days are all so samey
And I can give you this monotone-y
I can give you that mundanity

[Verse 2]
I keep things taxonomic
I've got a list of all the lists I need to make
Baby, you need
Things monochromic
So come and live your life in 50 Shades of Grey
(I don’t mean the sexy way)
Look at thе pie chart of my life
You’ll see therе's no variables
Wanna track my range with a quantum gauge?
You’ll see my change is negligible

[Chorus 2]
I'm so predictable
I keep things unsurprising
Fluorescent beige ain’t got nothing on me
Totally typical
I’m so unpolarizing
And I can give you that monotone-y
I can give you that mundanity

(Well, I think that went brilliantly)