I've been waiting for the right time to tell you, girl
That I've been thinking about you weekly
Every Monday morning briefly
Seven seconds at 11 AM

I wish I could think about you all the time
But there's other more important stuff on my mind
I've got limited cerebral capacity
I can’t assign it all to thinking romantically

'Cause there are some vital things I need to know
Why do we pronounce it “trite cliché”
But never call it “a slice of quiché”?
(A slice of quiché)
And, oh, what would happen to Pinnochio
If he lied on opposite day?
Would his nose invert inside his face?

I've been waiting for the right timе to tell you, girl
That I've been thinking about you sometimеs
But all my thoughts of you are confined
To when I'm not wondering if a whale could make cheese

If whales are really mammals
We could technically milk one
And give it to a cheesemonger
We could cure world hunger
Just imagine how much cheese we could make
Do spiders take three legs off when they wanna high five?
Does Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have a geode inside?
Do elevator-makers get high off their own supply?
Do cool psychics wear sunglasses on their inner eye?

I've been waiting for the right time to tell you, girl
That I’ve been thinking about you all day
Well, to speak more specifically
I’ve been thinking about how women have eggs

Do you think a human egg would taste different to a bird one?
And do you think an ant could fry it?
I'm not saying we should try it
But I bought this ant farm just in case