[Verse 1]
There comes a time in every long term relationship
When a question arises that you've gotta get off your ch-ch-chest
Ohh
I need to learn from someone
About how two become one, ohh
One way, it all links together
But you pull the other way
And it makes it all split up
What?

[Chorus]
I don’t know how a zip works, baby, do you?
It confuses me
What’s the method that can link two edges of plastic?
When I try myself I can’t make them intersect
It's been on my mind lately, so baby
Do you know how a zip works?

[Verse 2]
(You always let your obsessive nature get the better of you)
No I don’t (Yes you do.)
I think you'll find from my excel spreadsheets, that's clearly untrue
Look how low my average is!
It's not a complex issue
Look sit down here I'll show you, ohh
You link both the ends in the retainer
Then you pull the slider and it… just kind of...
[Chorus 2]
I don’t know how a zip works, how does it fuse?
Is it glue?
How do two tiny tooth rows tether some fabric?
Oh god, I fear this dark and powerful magic
Don't you find it kind of creepy that baby
No one knows how a zip works?

[Bridge]
Oooh, no one at CERN can answer this thing
(We should take all their funding away)
Oooh, and there are no answers on Google or Bing
(Who even uses Bing anyway)

I'm praying to god, and deep in my thoughts
I think I can make out his whispered response:

[Chorus 3]
I don't know how a zip works, no, not a clue
Is it screws or something?
I don't get how the sides connect, is it magnets?
Or some tiny little babies just holding it?
I create disease daily, it's crazy
That I don't know how a zip works

[Outro]
But I'm pretty sure it's magnets!
Now we know how a zip works, baby it's true
It's tiny magnets running through it
There’s a force in the teeth, and baby it's magic
And it wraps around the whole of our planet
You can see it now plainly, so baby
Please don't ask how a magnet works