Elaine, you’re like a broken pedal bicycle; off the chain
Your love is too big for Tupperware; can’t be contained
I can’t believe that I’m about to make love to Elaine

Elaine, you’re like a generous French baker; giving me pain
Like website on a server; I’m in your domain
And I feel there’s no escaping you now, Elaine

Because you give me shelter from the storm
Your smilе is sweet, your castle warm
Your skin is see-through, teeth are long
Alarm bells ringing!
You say I’m just in timе for dinner
I catch your eyeline in the mirror
On inspection, there’s no reflection, I lose my erection, yeah!

Elaine, you sunk your teeth into me, now I’m in pain
You’re cranially adhesive; stuck on my brain
Oh, please remove your teeth from my skull, Elaine

Now you’re sieving the blood from my brain; it’s a mental strain, yeah
And you’re siphoning it into your own vertebral vein, yeah
Why the hell did I choose to holiday in Transylvani-yeah?
In Transylvani-yeah?

Boy, your skin looks so delicious
I just want to give it kisses
And by kisses obviously I mean
Draining the blood from your body
Baby your my fantasy
Baby I just want to see
That blood run scarlet
Wait what’s that in your pocket
A clove of garlic - ahh!
Oh Elaine, you messed with a vampire hunter; I should explain
The villagers sent me here to see you slain
Now the power of Christ compels you to die, Elaine

The power of Christ compels you! Begone foul creature from the north! Too long the villagers have suffered at your hand and your teeth. Receive this stake, the stake in your heart carved from the oak of Thugenfor Forest. Receive it and begone!