What are you supposed to say
When a friend of yours is going to meet
Another one of their friends
Who you don’t know very well
Do you say “send them my love”?
Cause that’s a fucking weird thing to say
To someone you only met once in Sainsbury’s

What are you supposed to say
When a friend of yours is going to meet
Another one of their friends
Who you don’t know very well
Do you say “send my regards”?
Cause that’s a fucking creepy thing to say
You sound like a Victorian vicar who hates women (who hates women)

What are you supposed to say
When a friend of yours is going to meet
Another one of their friends
Who you don’t know very well
Do you say “Say hi from me”?
Cause that’s a fucking lame thing to say
Who wants to hear the same word "Hi,"
From a guy they met once by the puddings and pies?
I’m the conversational embodiment
Of shaking someone’s hand when they try to fist bump
But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t try, oh yeah
It means that I should give up and die