[Verse]
25 and things have changed, yeah
I'm a big boy now and I look my age, yeah
But part of me was kind of expecting more
Then one lonely hair sticking out of my jaw

[Chorus]
I really thought that I'd have a beard by now
I really thought that I'd have a beard by now
I really thought, really thought yeah

[Verse]
At the GP, Doctor Jensen
Seeing if he can help with hair growth medicine
He takes out a needle and fills it with meds
Stabs it in his leg, starts crying, and says

[Chorus]
I really thought that I'd have a beard by now
I really thought that I'd have a beard by now
I really thought, really thought

[Bridge]
Does it mean I'm not enough
If I don't have pubes growing out of my face?
Does it mean I'm not in love
If my testosterone type is in lower case?
If my mouth warmth levels are in dire straits?
[Spoken]
All the fellas say
I want a place to keep the food I don't eat
All the fellas say
I'd settle for a vaguely convincing mustache
[Chorus]
We really thought that we'd all have beards by now
You implied that we'd all have beards by now
We really thought, really thought
Yeah