[Verse 1]
My friends say I get intense
When I've been drinking
They that I do weird shit
And get kind of abrasive
(What a load of sh-)
I intend on bringing an end
To their erroneous thinking
(Tonight's the night)
So I wait for a natural break
In the conversation

[Chorus]
And then I whip my kneecaps out
(Just to relax them)
And the whole room falls to silence
(And I can tell by their expressions
That I'm impressin'
Them)
And I know what they're thinking
"Wow (Those 'caps are 'mazing)
This fella has got the finest
Patellas
I wish that mine werе like his
I've nevеr seen a knee this stylish"
[Post-Chorus]
Ooh ooh, whipping my kneecaps out
Ooh ooh, increasing my social clout
Ooh ooh, there's not a single doubt
That when they see my kneecaps
Everybody's feeling confidenter

Ooh ooh, whipping my kneecaps out
Ooh ooh, increasing my social clout
Ooh ooh, there's not a single doubt
They like to see my kneecaps
Resting lightly on the coffee table

[Verse 2]
My work here is done
So I leave them all stunned and I head to the bathroom
But I find my buddy Richard in tears
Drinking beer from an antique jug
He says he got dumped by Amanda Du Champ
Man I feel so bad for him
So I open up my arms to give him a hug
(Wait a second, uh)

[Chorus]
I should whip my kneecaps out
(And so I do it)
And he instantly stops crying
(He's staring back blankly at me
And I know what that means)
It means that he's thinking
"Wow (I can't believe it)
This fella's got the finest
Patellas
I wish that mine were like his
I've never seen a knee this stylish"
[Bridge]
Now my friends sit me down it's an intervention, yeah
You gotta stop whipping out your kneecaps it's too intense man
We're tryna have a nice time but you're killing the vibe
You're freaking out the dog and you made James cry
That reverse psychology doesn't work on me
It's so clear what the subtext is

[Chorus]
They want to see my kneecaps out
(They want the couple)
And honestly who can blame them
(I can only see them from above
And even I'm falling in love)
They've got such a potent power
(Got such massive knobbles)
There's no human who can tame them
I'm not to blame
But by comparison James'
Kneecaps are so freakin' lame man

[Outro]
Ooh ooh, whipping my kneecaps out
Ooh ooh, increasing my social clout
Ooh ooh, you're wondering how I get them out
It's just a simple hatch
That I sewed in my jeans
Ooh ooh, whipping my kneecaps out
Ooh ooh, increasing my social clout
Ooh ooh, they're too cool not to flout
I wear my kneecaps backwards
To make me look even cooler