Does anybody actually know
What the different power modes on the front of a microwave do?
They give you so much control
It's like how would I know which of these numbers gonna heat my cock-a-leekie soup?

You go too low (Ha, ah)
The edge comes out cold but the middle is a fuckin' inferno
And on highest mode, when you take out the bowl
The crockery is hot enough to make you infertile