[Verse 1]
Everybody goin' crazy brain for Christmas
Seems to me that humanity
Has forgotten what this time was about
All your materialistic presents
Payin' all of your attention to the wrong religion
You gotta stop makin' it all about Jesus

[Chorus 1]
The true meaning of the season
Is the Druidic solstice ritual
Before it got nicked by the Christians
We were ho-ho-hoing around Stonehenge

The true meaning of the season
Didn't used to be caroling and Christmas cheer
Take me back to the time when they did things right
Like a live bull sacrifice underneath the mistletoe
And were they using it for kissin'? No
They would take the mistlefruit and squeeze it into juice and drink it
Cause they thought it would make them horny

[Verse 2]
We've forsaken all the beautiful Yule traditions
Like Gryla the goblin witch who climbs out of a ditch to eat your kids
Forget the coziness and good willing
We need more state-sanctioned ritual killing
Sign my petition
I only need a hundred thou to get it debated in Parliament
[Chorus 2]
The true meaning of the season
Is the pagan rite of Saturnalia
For seven days they let a guy do literally whatever he liked
Then on day eight he was publicly sacrificed

The true meaning of the season
My pagan friends, how could we forget?
The tradition of Mari Lwyd at Llangynwyd
Where they'd get a dead horse's head and take it 'round the town on a stick
They'd even put it in a cute bonnet
And take it up to someone's door and sing loudly 'til the owner was forced
To let everybody in the house including the horse

[Outro]
Christmas sucks
Let's bring back fucking Yule

Be the change you want to see
Wear a horse skeleton head this Christmas