[Chorus]
I wanna spend the afternoon
Kicking it back, straight up
Cruisin'
With Eggerson Keaveney
He picks me up at noon
Holding a pack of cold
Brewskies
He's brought for the evening

He tells me that the
Twenty-seven empties
In the bushes
Are nothing to do with him
And I'm certain that is true
'Cause nobody's better
At hittin' my level
Than Eggerson Keaveney

[Verse]
Eggerson's very stable mentally
And I know that 'cause
He's got six tattoos which say that
Always wears little chic accessories
Such as this plastic anklet
He's not allowed to take off
[Pre-Chorus]
He wears a new look daily
He served in the U.S. Navy
He makes a mean steamed eggs and gravy
So now you understand me when I say

[Chorus]
I wanna spend the afternoon
Kicking it back straight up
Chillin'
With Eggerson Keaveney
He's such a breezy dude
I feel so relaxed
When he does his semi-
Hourly screamin'

He's got a pet grub
It's called Robert
And he loves to
Tickle it secretly
I'm always in the mood
For kicking it back, and
Giving Robert a pat
With Eggerson Keaveney

[Interlude]
Robert Solo
Go off Robert
[Chorus]
Ooh, kicking it back, straight up
Chillin'
With Eggerson Keaveney
I'm always in the mood
For watching his back
While he does his
Retail-therapying

Whenever he goes
Shopping
He picks up things
And he drops them
Right down the back of his shirt
He had an extra skin pouch
Surgically attached
To the small of his back
So he can catch all the snacks
He's Eggerson Keaveney

[Outro]
(Oh ooh)
I've been spending all my time with
Eggerson Keaveney
(Oh ooh, oh ooh)
I've been spreading all the vibes with
Eggerson Keaveney
(Oh ooh, oh ooh)
I've been committing petty crimes with
Eggerson Keaveney
(Oh ooh, oh ooh)
Well I couldn't live my life without
Eggerson Keaveney