[Eric Melvin]
All the way from Palm Springs, just out of detox
Show him a warm welcome, let's give some applause

[Fat Mike]
Greetings all, hello
Welcome to my show
I'm sure you'll have fun
Watching me juggle
Eight balls at one time
I'm no fucking mime
I play practical jokes
This squirting flower
That wasn't flour
That blew up your nose
It's my special blend
Of X, coke, and K
You should be okay
In several hours

[Eric Melvin]
He's got over sized shoes, and ill-fitting clothes
That is real blood dripping from his fake red nose

[Fat Mike]
I'm Cokie the Clown
I will trip you down
Those 12 giant steps
I brought you all presents
Against good judgment
But being a good host
You all have been dosed
The kettle corn’s been laced
The fudge has been lined
You're having a great time
But you might not recall
From rohypnol
In the lemonade
Cokie homemade
[Eric Melvin]
He's the happiest clown
With the biggest frown
He's Cokie the Clown