[Verse 1]
Hundred miles across the border
Saint Maria Frisco Bay
Big ol’ stack of leather Bibles
Blowin’ down the interstate
Where crimes are cheaper by the dozen
And mothers scream out in the night
What you plannin’ on to do here
Cotton candy Jesus Christ

[Verse 2]
Oh United States of nowhere
Some say that paradise is gone
Troubles are brewin’ ‘round here lately
And where have you been all along
Flyin’ choppers through the desert
Whiskey tango fox trot blues
Bring ‘em home just for the weekend
And we’ll make something out of you

[Verse 3]
Must’ve penned 1000 letters
Two weeks worth of kerosene
Dropped ‘em in the sheriffs mailbox
And still they somehow weren’t received
They must’ve flown out on a dirt road
Cuttin’ hard around the bend
Only you to chance to read them
Well this is what they would’ve said