Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to welcome you today
To the brand new format Republican debate
In a desperate attempt to increase the ratings
We're making the candidates rap when they say things

Bring it bitch, I'm Newt Gingrich
I want to rob the poor and then give it to the stinking rich
I'll make your sphincter itch; pain in the asshole
Economically the opposite of Castro

I'm Ron Paul, my following's devout as John Paul
The one all the libertarians have longed for
I want small government, no taxation
And my tracks played on every radio rap station

Who twists lyrics like a Rubik's Cube?
It's Mitt Romney, repping Massachussets, you pricks
People ask me what to do with the gays
I say send them away to Guantanamo Bay

I look like someone from a Star Trek fan forum
What's my name, bitch? It's Rick Santorum
My shit's damn boring and I'm homophobic too
Except I believe that homos should go into a zoo

I'm slick Rick Perry, the Texas state governor
A southener Republican motherfucker
That's coming to fuck up enemies with the death penalty
If they're mentally retarded don't bother telling me
I don't give a fuck