Proper (USA)
Lime Green Jheri Curl
[Verse 1]
Let me set the scene:
10 years old, 6 months pregnant
With a jheri curl that’s lime green
Mom says I’m not fat
But she also says I’m not sad
So I’m not sure what worth her word had
My counselor says I'll make friends real soon
But I'm too white for the black kids
And too black to be a token coon
Another school where I don't fit in
Another year waiting for summer so I can trail behind my brother and his friends - but I don't think they like me either
[Chorus 1]
Did I do something wrong?
Am I broken, am I an alien?
I don't think there's anywhere I belong
I don't talk enough because I think too much
If I was white would it be this rough?
This can't be growing up
[Verse 2]
6th grade, won't spend another year feeling alone
Joined the band to play drums but they put me on the fucking trombone
This year I'm being approachable, friendly, but stern
Do other kids like Rocky Horror and Dragon Riders of Pern??
I just want other black kids to like me someday
My white friends say the N word and that it’s okay because even they're blacker than me
A few months later I invited them to my birthday
And they said yes!
Spent the rest of the week grinning, nothing could stop me
Except none of them showed - I haven't celebrated a birthday since
[Chorus 2]
Did I do something wrong?
Am I broken, am I an alien?
Will I ever find out where I belong?
I don't talk enough because I think too much
If I was white would making friends be this tough?
This can't be growing up
[Bridge]
I can’t lie for a while it really fucked me up
Too young to get it I just got that I wasn’t enough
For the longest time I thought that maybe it’s just my luck
No portraits and my forehead would never be kissed or made important, fuck
'Cause when you’re different they'll gladly treat you badly
Say you’ll end up snatching xannies, mashing patties, hair all nappy
Smashing Nattys outside the party 'cause no one would give you the addy
Hella trashy on TV screaming: "Maury, I am not the daddy!"
But now I know that believing it was one my worst habits
Now I’m true to myself regardless of social status
I’m not afraid to be me, I could sneak into the Met Gala
In the loudest suit and walk out with Zoe and Lenny Kravitz
I used to be in constant crisis about who I was
Now I know it takes time to learn self love
To look in the mirror and say: "I am and will always be enough”
Because I am, I am
Believe me, I am
[Outro]
I am strong enough, I am smart enough
I am likable, I will forge my own path from now on
I am kind enough, I am beautiful
I will live as such, I can go anywhere and belong
Ooh-whoah-ah, ooh-whoah-ah, ooh-whoah-ah
Ooh-whoah-ah, ooh-whoah-ah, ooh-whoah-ah