[Verse 1]
Wet dreams about platonic friends
Didn't even know I was attracted to them
To be fair, I'm not sure what side I play for anyway
I just know I could watch boys chew bubblegum all day

[Refrain]
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm

[Verse 2]
I grew up ugly, or at least that's what I was told
Weird kid with the nose and lips of a thirty year old
Days spent striking out, but building up my confidence
Nights spent wide awake just wondering about their measurements

[Refrain]
Hmm, hmm, hmm ,hmm

[Verse 3]
Locals ask me what brought me to this town
I say the opportunity, but really I just want to fool around
Got a lot of catching up to do, so I'm always up at night
It starts with just one drink and ends with swallowing your pride
And joy, oh joy

[Refrain]
Hmm, hmm

[Outro]
Tonight I'm drinking at the Boobie Trap
With a couple that I met on a Fetlife ad
They drink to settle their nerves as we discuss protocol
They're building their confidence up for me
Nose and lips and all
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh