[BENNY, spoken]
Everything you thought you knew
Leave that all behind
Just keep one hand on the truck
And try not to lose your mind
This is not a child's game
This is not a game of chance

(sung)
It's a sharp-honed skill
It's a test of will
It's keeping still
When the Devil tells you..."Dance!"

It's more than a contest
It's more than dumb luck
It's more than extra cash
It is much more than a truck!
Someone's gonna cry here
Someone will go insane
Someone will be laughing
At someone else's pain

Someone's bound for glory
The rest are bound to lose
You'll get a hundred different stories
With a
[ALL]
Hundred point of views!

[BENNY]
Ev'ry Texan needs a ride
And this truck is bona fide
But only one can grab that ring

[ALL]
And God alone knows what He'll bring!

[BENNY]
It's a human drama kind of thing!

[FRANK, spoken]
This is Frank Nugent, comin' to ya live from the Hands on a Hardbody contest, here at Floyd King Nissan!

[JINGLE]
Floyd King Nissan!
Pick up and go!

[BENNY, GREG, JESUS, RONALD, MIKE, FRANK, J.D., VIRGINIA]
Some are on vacation
Some are unemployed
Someone will drive home elated
Someone will walk home destroyed
[BENNY, HEATHER, NORMA, KELLI, JANIS, DON, FRANK, MIKE]
Everybody's broke here
Tryin' to make ends meet
Pay a debt back, had a setback
Gotta get back on our feet

[BENNY]
So don't make any judgments
Let the players play
Leave the judging to the Judge
Who'll judge us all on Judgment Day

[BENNY, FRANK, MIKE, CINDY]
Bring your family, come alone
Grab a corn dog or a cone
Get yourself a bleacher seat
In the shade out of the heat
For this human drama kind of thing!

[CONTESTANTS, DON, VIRGINIA]
If I win this truck, all my troubles are through
Just keep holdin' on
That's what I'm gonna do!
Someone's gettin' lucky, now who will it be?
It's me! It's me!
[FRANK, spoken]
Today's contestants underwent a grueling screening process, did they not?

[CINDY, spoken]
We drew their names out of a hat. Business cards or beer coasters, it's all in the luck of the draw!

[BENNY]
I put my name in early
There's tricks that you can do

[JESUS]
I sprinkled mine with cola
So it sticks to you like glue

[NORMA]
I put my faith in Jesus!
He always sees me through

[KELLI]
I put my name in thirty-two times, thirty-two times!

[JANIS]
I got six mouths to feed, and these are

[CONTESTANTS, DON, VIRGINIA]
Troubling times!

[HEATHER]
I rode my bike here every day!

{J.D.]
That pile of bills won't go away

[RONALD]
I drive a car ain't got no brakes

[CONTESTANTS, DON, VIRGINIA]
And I'll do anything it takes!
I never won nothin', I came all the same
I thought I would die when they called out my name!
I prayed for a change to come year after year
It's here! It's here! It's here!

[BENNY]
Like the great Ali did
When he changed his name from Cassius
Everybody's hopin' to rise
Once more from the ashes!

[NORMA]
O Lord - it's been a real tough year
Thank You for this chance right here
I'm shaking and I'm sick with fear, but

[NORMA, JESUS, HEATHER, J.D., GREG, JANIS]
Can I bend Your ear a minute?
Look at all these people in it

[CONTESTANTS, DON, VIRGINIA]
Jesus, I just got to win
This truck!
This truck!
This truck this truck this truck!

[CINDY, spoken]
The rules! One time, and one time only

[MIKE, spoken]
Breaks are fifteen minutes once every six hours

[CINDY, spoken]
You may not lean, squat, or rest your legs

[MIKE, spoken]
At no time may you remove your hand from the truck

[CINDY, spoken]
And that hand must be covered! We've got these cotton gloves, courtesy of True Value Hardware

[MIKE, spoken]
No guns, no profanity

[CINDY, spoken]
No alcohol or drugs

[ALL]
Don't make any judgments
Let the players play
Leave the judging to the Judge
Who'll judge us all on Judgment Day!

[CONTESTANTS, DON, VIRGINIA]
This could be my ticket out
Long as I just stick it out

[ALL]
Get a good seat in the stands
For the layin' on of hands!

[CINDY, spoken]
Gloves on!

[FRANK, BENNY, MIKE]
It's a human drama kind of thing!

[CONTESTANTS, DON, VIRGINIA]
I'll stand here for days in the crowds and the heat!

[JANIS, J.D., NORMA, KELLI, GREG, HEATHER, CHRIS]
I ain't givin' up!

[KELLI, J.D., GREG, RONALD]
I'm the cowboy to beat!

[ALL CONTESTANTS, DON, VIRGINIA]
Someone's gettin' lucky, now who will it be?
It's me!
It's me!

[CHRIS]
I've been feelin' kind of low

[BENNY]
It's a human drama kind of thing!

[GREG]
No work since two years ago

[BENNY]
It's a human drama kind of thing!

[JESUS]
Guess who's driving home this truck?

[CONTESTANTS, DON]
It's me!

[BENNY]
I'm little, but I think I'm big
Gonna get all Rambo on this rig!

[CONTESTANTS, DON, VIRGINIA, CINDY]
Here's redemption, no tax exemption
But transportation and inspiration
If I just stand and I keep my hand on this thing!

[BENNY]
It's a human drama kind of thing!

[CONTESTANTS, DON, VIRGINIA, CINDY]
I'll honk my horn again, be reborn again
Busted flat, now I'm up to bat and I swing!

[BENNY]
The way it's lookin' here to me
The winner's gonna have to be - Benny!

[CONTESTANTS, DON, VIRGINIA]
A body's got to feel his worth
Reason for his time on earth
Guess who's driving home this truck?
It's-

[NORMA, CHRIS, KELLI, JESUS, JANIS, DON]
Can I bend Your ear a minute?

[MIKE, spoken]
Okay, people! Let's start this puppy!

[NORMA, CHRIS, KELLI, JESUS, JANIS, DON]
Won't You let me drive home in it?

[CINDY, spoken]
Ten seconds!

[NORMA, CHRIS, KELLI, JESUS, JANIS, DON]
Jesus, I just got to win this-

[CINDY, spoken]
Five!

[ALL but CINDY, MIKE, FRANK]
Truck! This truck! This truck!

[MIKE & CINDY, spoken]
Hands on!