[RONALD]
I didn't get no sleep last night
I was thinkin' about today
I try to keep things simple
But my brain gets in the way
I said, "You need to rest now!"
But my big head don't care
Now I can see
That's gonna be my problem right there

My problem right there
My problem right there
My powerful mind!
That's my problem right there!
I got no other problems
Of which I'm aware
I'm just too damn smart!

[RONALD, WOMEN]
That's my/his problem right there!

(RONALD's cell phone rings)

[RONALD, spoken]
Hello? No, no Peaches, I'm your boo, baby! Don't go around believin' all the tattoos you read!
[RONALD and (WOMEN)]
That's Peaches from Tulsa (Ooh!)
Callin' me again (Called you up!)
There once was a time
I went home with her friend (No no!)
Now they both say they comin' (Uh oh!)
To be at my side
Ain't no room in this truck
To take three for a ride! (Beep beep!)

[RONALD]
My problem right there
My problem right there
These women around here
Are my problem right there!
I could handle them all
But they don't like to share
I got too much love!
That's my problem right there!

(spoken, to GREG)
You know what I'm talkin' about, boy! Yeah, you do!

[WOMEN]
Like your days runnin' track
You won't quit 'til you've won!
[RONALD]
No way!
And I'll run through the pain
And that fierce prairie sun
But if it starts to rain
Ronald out! I don't care!

(There's a loud clap of thunder)

[RONALD]
Now, that's gonna be my problem there!

[WOMEN]
His problem right there
That's his problem right there!
Brains, women and rain
Are his problem right there!

[RONALD]
And just look what this cap
Has done done to my hair!

[BENNY]
Looks like you've got
One more problem right there!
[RONALD, spoken]
You know what?! Ooh, Lord Jesus!

(sung)
Man, the heat and the sweet
From my fifteenth Snicker
Are workin' on me
Like my daddy's corn liquor
And the corns on my feet, woo!
They gettin' sweaty and slicker
Feel the candy repeat
And it makes me feel...sicker...

[WOMEN]
But you got no other problems
Of which you're aware

[RONALD]
'Cept I think I'm gonna lose
And I don't really care
Oh, looky here! I'm lettin' go!
I'm holdin' on to air...
Yes sirree
That'll have to be
That's gonna have to be
My biggest problem

[WOMEN]
No!

[RONALD]
Right

[WOMEN]
No!

[RONALD]
There!

[WOMEN]
No, no! Ronald, don't go!