[Verse 1: cringeguava]
Pussy talented, it do shartwheels
Pussy talented, it do algebra
A squared plus B squared equals this dick
My fourth grade teacher was kinda thick
Just got an email with a picture of a weenie
Make that nut disappear, feel like I'm Houdini
Stretch your holes like that NSFW art of Linguini
Dick built like [?], look like a zucchini
Feel like a Jawa the way I hit this [?]
I'm putting tinfoil in the fucking microwave
Turning my kitchen into a festival rave
Don't gotta buy Christmas lights, that's how I save
Told my mom don't catch me misbehaving
She gon' take away my chicky nuggies
She gon' take away my maccy cheesy
No, fuck, bitch, not the choccy milk
I'm soaking my appy slices in lean
I don't wash my dick, my foreskin ain't clean
I got all these crabs, I feel like Eugene
Preheat and gobble that vagina like a lean cuisine
She say that I'm stupid, she correct
My peepee is flaccid, it is not erect
You do not have any bands, I double checked
Beat up a four year old, call that child neglect
I'm gonna shove your fucking head into the [?] electric meat grinder, home sausage maker, meats mincer, food grinding, mincing cutter machine for household kitchen tools
Dropped outta school
But I'm feeling like the principal the way I make the rules
Call me sofadoggy the way I fucking suck at pool
Apple iMessage Gang
Steve Jobs
IPad
IPay, I poo, I pissed all over the fucking floor
[Verse 2: kmoe]
I just got kicked out of balls for being too cool
I just got kicked out of the YMCA 'cause I peed in the swimming pool
Playing Angry Birds 2 on my iPhone 4s
Got big hairy asscheeks, it's like a thorax
Your dad smell like root beer
My penis got the consistency of a soft pretzel
I just robbed a Starbucks at gunpoint and stole all of the gift cards
And now I have so much money at Starbucks
In hindsight, I probably should've gone for the register 'cause then I could get actual money and buy, like, expensive things
I got a Travy Patty, double patty, mmm
I feel like Bubble Bass from Spongebob the way there's no pickles
Call me Mr. Kale, because that's like, my name
I went to a KFC drive-through and said put the money in the bank
What's your favorite Despicable Me movie?

[Verse 3: funeral]
Came on that bitch like
Yeah, fart on that bitch like
Gawk on that bitch like
I just shart on that bitch like
I just fucked James Charles so he let me call him Jamie
Bad bitch piss in my mouth like she had to pay me
I just fucked James Charles, I think that was the gay me
I just watched gay porn, now the whole Church hate me
[Verse 4: abstrekt]
Put my dick in the grill and it look like a hot dog
People saying they top dog but they need to get some top, dog
I am so awesome
TW slash slash happy relationship
This is the worst day ever, found out Pokimane is a piece of shit
He thought it was bad weed but I sold him a literal piece of shit
And I have his girl sucking on my penis dick
I beat him to the ground and now he's not breathing
The way this choppa fat you know that it's eating
The way this choppa drink you know that it's peeing
They said she a squirter but she's literally peeing
This perc-y werc-y got me itchy witchy
This perc-y werc-y got me itchy witchy
Suck my testicles, now your bitch is with me
Just poured up some Hitech in a Coke Zero

[Verse 5: sofadoggy]
Twelve foot tall skeleton from Home Depot
Twelve foot tall skeleton from Home Depot
I wanna buy the skeleton from Home Depot
I'm gon' put him on my lawn
I'm in the crib, I'm eating Cheez-Its
Wait no these are cheese nips
[?] Spiderman 3
Sandman is so scary
I put an Xbox game in the PS5
I invented the Playstation 365
I go on Rhymezone and am clicking new rhyme
Made a bomb threat and had to pay a fine
I'm not bad at ball, Gohanna's just a bitch
I put my dog inside of my mini-fridge
My dog froze to death, RIP my dog
He probably would have not died if he was a frog
[Verse 6: gayrat]
I am coming out of the closet with an AK-47
Transphobes in my mentions going to [?] 47
I did not think this through, what rhymes with 47
God damn it, 47
And I do not give a fuck what your aunt said on Facebook
She can catch these hands or a [?] off of a phone book
Pray to god it knocks her out, I don't wanna get my hands dirty
If one more person calls me a man then I will fucking murder them
Shit, god damn it, I am pissing everywhere
If you say transphobic shit, I'll piss inside your fucking hair
Someone please call the paramedics, I cannot stop pissing everywhere
I am very sorry for pissing inside of your brand new chair

[Verse 7: copmurderer]
You better hit that nae-nae before you get a whoopin'
Call me fnaflover the way I get the [?]
I know your momma built like an Easy Bake Oven
Don't lie to me bro, I know you, I know it
Just found out the man that murdered my uncle's name is Oliver
I'm 'bout to leak NLE Choppa's address
On god bro, they 'bout to put me under house arrest
Really 'bout to murder somebody's grandmother, bro
Bro, she really out here [?]
Why half the BALLS server look like they drink G-Fuel?

[Verse 8: savepoint]
I just smoked a gram of mid out of a mousepad
I'm moving inside of your walls like a mousepad
I'm talking about your house, not your vagina
I've never been committed enough in a relationship to get to that point
I listen to Joji
Where all of the hoes at? screaming into the void is getting lonely
Hobo Johnson the way I look like I haven't showered in months
Down bad, really bad, smoking Steve Job's runtz
I [?] to the jump, now I'm starting a business
Drugs in my Mac, hope the blues didn't witness
Tired of talk, got my Glock for your fitness
Wire my cock with a bomb on a dipshit
Fred Figglehorn the way my dad is John Cena
I haven't seen him in months
Got some peanut butter crackers method, tap in
Light up keyboard and two monitors, still getting head method, tap in
Left my stove on and now I'm committing insurance fraud
There is nothing left but an XL condom for my magnum dong
My family is gone
I just launched my fucking car off of the highway
Land on the clipping barrier the government forgot to take out
Devs fucked up and gave me unlimited lives
Please dear god I'm just looking for a way out
Dudes get they first jetpack and start acting different
Found a 15-year-old pair of shorts I accidentally pissed in
I was really embarrassed so I hid them
If you laugh at me, I'll knock your fucking block off, piston
I do not need bitches, I need help
My Tinder profile has a one-star review on Yelp
Got my flow, that shit diet Dr Kelp
I am Drake's ghostwriter

[Skit: mewatonin]
Hi, welcome to your interview for the company Apple Incorporated
Please take a seat
What was your name again?
Oh, thank you. Uh, my name is Steven Handjob
Oh, well, Mr. Handjob, I gotta ask you
Do you fuck?
What?
Do you fuck?
I-Um, um, I mean... I guess
Good, good, 'cause, uh, we're gonna need somebody to, uh, fuck over our customers
How long is Steven Handjob's cock, eh? Are you gonna tell me?
Uh yeah, yeah
Solid 3-incher with the circumference of one big fucking dick
Oh, really? Yeah
Bro, that sounds like a fucking deal
Now get on your knees you little bitch
You can tell me anything, Steve
I'm gonna drop the iPod and reveal it and no one will invest in Apple now
That's right Tim, now don't tell me I don't fuck
'Cause I fucked you pretty hard, didn't I

[Verse 9: ascii]
They say I'm a capper
I just had sex with your brother and I make his back hurt
No kidding, I'm kidding
Please get it out my mouth, I cannot stop spitting
I just got robbed by a milf
Put that on my momma and a 100 dollar bill
2 dollars, 3 dollars, 5 dollars
I wish she would pull me around with a dog collar
Your mom called, she said hi
She started to moan and said- what?
Then she came everywhere
I meant to say she called me a good guy
I just fucked your mom
I just fucked your mom
I think I just fucked your mom

[Verse 10: aaron kusnier]
Ayy, I just pissed on this Walmart
Look at me, I got so many bands like a robber
You better stop the talking 'cause I will make you shut the fuck up
You smell so fucking bad, have you taken a shower?
I'm on the Xbox Live, let's do this
[?] I ask him why
You better get your bands up or I'm gonna take them
I got so many monies from all your tax evasion (That was so funny)
I'ma take some time to work on myself
Too many Angry Bird games sitting on my shelf
My favorite movie right now is probably Spider-Guy Into The Spiderman
"That's not how the title goes," did I ask you man?
Oh, that- that sucked
If I hit you with my car it'll probably take the wheels off
I'm gonna watch the mini movie on my Leapfrog laptop
This verse went nowhere because I'm literally peeing on the floor

[Verse 11: oddyssi]
I am racist, no I'm not
Which will you believe
I got AIDS, and I have too many teeth
I'm stealing money from Ezra's Onlyfans account
Ezra, if you hear this, I'm so sorry, I'm just broke
I'm not actually racist
I just shot a baby
I am not allowed in the state of Virginia
They won't let me into the public library
I'm so depressed
Not because of the library thing, I think I just am genuinely, like, just really sad
I don't know why everyone won't, like, talk to me
Kinda feels like everyone's been going away from me
I just shit my pants
Bobby said he needs new pants
I'm getting green like a creeper
I'ma whip out a bat when I see her
Gonna assault this woman
Why did I say that?

[Verse 12: undertalefan1994]
I know I just got here but can you please show me where the bathroom is
I've been holding it this whole trip and I really need to take a whiz
I brought some coke and you can have it, ple- where is the bathroom
I'm going to start pissing on the floor
Okay, you asked for it
I am pissing on your floor
My name is undertalefan1994 and I love to have sex with whores
Did anyone bring coke to this party?
Oh wait, I did
Okay, I'm gonna do some coke
I'll be in the bedroom with my shirt off, if anyone needs me, please, um
Actually just don't come in there 'cause I'm probably gonna be doing a lot of coke
And, um, I don't wanna accidentally sexually harass someone, you know?
I just broke out of the window
I just broke into a car through the window
I just hotwired the car and am now driving down the highway while I'm on cocaine
I crashed and now I'm dead