Excuse me, mate
You've just dropped one of your tattoos
Yeah, just over there
Excuse me, mate
You've just dropped one of your tattoos
(Oh have I?) Yeah, just over there

I don't really wanna save your venue
You're talking to me like a seven-year-old that's not gone to bed before they should do
This isn't school
Does it bother me? A bit
I still wanna be rated by some prick

You're not DiY, you're a fucking twat
You look like Fred Dibnah and your haircut's crap
You're in a shouty band, you're not original, man
You're like the edgy version of something shit
Shouty Dibnah in an All Saints jacket
You sell guitars on Facebook
And you drink too much beer, sonny
You do playlists for Fred Perry, you boring cunt
And you shave your hair just above your ear

Oh yeah, not another white bloke agro band
Oh yeah, we're all the fucking same
Let's not kid ourselves, man
Some win and some lose the fame game-ah
I saw a doctor, I said-ah, "Why do I feel like slapping these B&M goths
All this post-punk dross?"
He said-ah, "Because they're fucking cunts, Jason
Fucking hit 'em!"
Yeah
So many reasons why
So many reasons why
So many reasons why
I say death to your DIWhy

Yeah
I just seen it over there next to the nativity play you got goin' on
The three wise men bringing nonsense, tinsel and dur
You with your book on unknown singers
Covered in blood
Oh, it suits you, sir!
Why is talking to me like I'm 7 on the menu?
Fuck yourself
And fuck your venue

Cup's too big, but that's alright 'cause I don't wanna burn my hands
As I order sausages
Hovel stop
Shouting at the misery block
Like me, just Dan and chip off the old block
Butcher's death
Prisoner Cell Block H
You need to get eight steaks out of that one piece, mate-ah

So many reasons why
So many reasons why
So many reasons why
I say death to your DIWhy
Yeah
Make it slice air
Something we don't get as much
Make it slice there
Something we don't get as much
Make it slice where
You choose, make it slice
Get as much
Make it slice where
Something we don't get as much
Make it slice there
Make it slice air
Something we don't get as much
Make it slice where
Something we don't get as much
Make it slice where
Make it slice there

Yeah
So many reasons why
So many reasons why
So many reasons why
I say death to your DIWhy