[Spoken intro]
We've got to do our alma mater, we must do our alma mater

[Verse 1]
When I was a little bitty boy
My grandmother bought me a cute little toy
Silver bells hangin' on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling

[Chorus]
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

[Spoken]
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

[Verse 2]
Mmm, and then mamma took me to grammar School
But I stopped off in the vestibule
Every time that bell would ring
Catch me playing with my ding-a-ling-a-ling

[Chorus]
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
[Spoken]
Ah, that was beautiful
You know what I heard, I heard
I hear two girls over here singing in harmony
That's alright, honey, this is a free country
Live like you wanna live, baby! Yeah
Ain't nobody gonna knock it darling, mm-mmm
Yeah, freedom!
Yes sir, there's one guy right over here singin' "mine" too
That's all right, brother!
Yes sir, you got a right, baby
Ain't nobody gonna bother you, tell you

[Verse 3]
Once I was climbing the garden wall
I slipped and had a terrible fall
I fell so hard I heard bells ring
But held onto my ding-a-ling-a-ling

[Chorus]
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

[Spoken]
Mmm, you know that's future parliament out there singin'?
Oh yeah! (yeah!)
[Verse 4]
Mmm, once I was swimming 'cross turtle creek
Man, them snappers all around my feet
Sure was hard swimming 'cross that thing
With both hands holing my ding-a-ling-a-ling

[Chorus]
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

[Spoken]
That's so beautiful
I think it's a beautiful little song, really I do
And guess what, everybody's still not singing
There's a few right down front here that's not singing
We're gonna dedicate this verse
To those who will not sing, yes sir

[Verse 5]
Mmm, this here song, it ain't so sad
The cutest little song you ever had
Those of you who will not sing
You must be playing with your own ding-a-ling-a-ling
[Chorus]
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
Oh, your ding-a-ling, your ding-a-ling
We saw you playing with your ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, everybody sing
I want to play with my ding, everybody
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling, slow down
I wanna play, everybody, with my ding-a-ling