[Louise]
I swear like a soldier, it puts men at ease
I’m careful with pronouns, my ‘she’s become ‘he’s
One must fit in, my boys, that's understood
So I don't sweat it, get it, got it

I'm spit-polish perfect with gals on my crew
I chit-chat, I banter, they don't have a clue
I serve with honor, kid, just as I should
Uniform makes me feel essential, rest is confidential
Get it, got it

But
When the uniform's off I get up to some high times, lips get looser
Back in hackysack I got a whack, do I love her? Yes I do, sir
There's a little old club there where lavender ladies are having a ball in a rental hall
My gal can swing to the music and dance hell for leather
We're ringing the morning clinging together
But then the army will call
Then I come back and don't regret it, strive to be a credit
Get it, got it

[Stu, spoken]
But secretary, what I really wanna know is
Does the General suspect?
[Louise, spoken]
Last month, he heard a rumor that there might be lesbians in his outfit. He ordered me to write a list of all possible offenders. I said I'd be happy to but the first name on that list would be mine. He withdrew the order. He needs me and he knows it, and he knows I'll never bring it up again. That's not for publication.​

(sung)
And, kid, that's just the facts
We're misunderstood
Still you be proud and don't regret it
Always strive to be a credit
Get it? Got it?
Good