[Voice recording]
(Is it recording?) Yup- what up, Kara? Happy birthday, sweet pea. Uh, I know you're probably turnin' up, but just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and talk to you for a minute, but I hope it was a good one, bear-bear. Um, I hope yo- I mean it look like you're showing well. Keep killin' em, smack a white man, I'll talk to you later, peace

[Verse 1]
Damn, the dickhead blues
When your time becomes somebody else's refuge
Damn, the dickhead blues
Make a vacation outta you
Damn, the dickhead blues
When you are stuck sinking in someone's lagoon
Likе a spoon drowns in a stew
What kind of meal are thеy making of you?

[Pre-Chorus]
Thinking cupid calls for you
End up gum on someone's shoe
Makes me feel like I don't have a clue

[Bridge]
My dilemma is always a dickhead
Who's drunk on the daily news
Like coyotes in culottes
Clawin' for coffee in open-toed shoes
I'm no longer amused by losers
Who find themselves losing me
That's why I choose
[Chorus]
I'm not as worthless as I once thought
I am pretty top-notch
I am pretty top-notch
I am pretty top-notch
I'm useful

[Verse 2]
Damn, the dickhead blues
When ur feeling as broke as a bottle of booze
Damn, the dickhead blues
Like a soda straw strangling you

[Pre-Chorus]
Thinking cupid calls for you
And end up gum on someone's shoe
Makes me feel like I don't have a clue

[Refrain]
If I had a heart, if I had a heart
If I had a heart, if I had a heart
I'd know where to start, I'd know where to start
I'd know where to start, I'd know where to start
If I had a heart, if I had a heart
If I had a heart, if I had a heart
I'd know where to start (Start)
I'd know where to start (Start, start)
I'd know where to start (Start)
I'd know where to start (Start, start)
If I had a heart, if I had a heart
If I had a heart, if I had a heart
I'd know where to start (Start)
I'd know where to start (Start, start)
I'd know where to start
If I-
I'd know-
If I-
If I-
Know where
If I-
If I had-
[Outro]
I'm not as worthless as I once thought
I am pretty top-notch
I am pretty top-notch
I am pretty top-notch
I'm useful