[Intro: Chevy]
Hmm-mmm, mmm-mmm
Hmm-mmm, mmm-mmm

[Verse 1: Wilbur Soot]
My keyboard's like my heart
It shines in RGB and it's full of blood
I don't know what is wrong with me
But I'm scared, pissed off, and lonely (Horny)
I have trouble speaking to women
Unless they're 2D or high definition
Spend all my time on social media
This is the state that I'm in

[Verse 2: Wilbur Soot]
My Twitter feed's like my brain
'Cause I have it on dark mode
Memorize everything she says
So I can use it to guess her passcode
She's beauty, she's grace
She has a profile picture of her gorgeous face
To try and get more sponsors
To try and get more sponsors

[Chorus: Wilbur Soot, Chevy, both]
But why don't you care?
I've spent the past ten years of my life making you prepared
You're political enough but not contrary
Sexual enough but not enough to scare me
Give me a reason not to be on my knees
The internet has ruined me
Hmm-mmm
[Verse 3: Wilbur Soot]
Look, I know I must sound insane
But that's part of the package
If she can't handle me at my worst
She don't deserve my mental baggage
I know you want six-foot-four
But one foot more and I'd almost be tall enough
To reach the high shelf, be your incel
I think I might be a threat to myself
A threat to myself

[Chorus: Wilbur Soot, Chevy]
But why does she run?
When I'm monthly giving her fifty percent of my income
It feels like my ideas of affection
Are based around artificial perfection
I just want to appease
That the internet has ruined me
Hmm-mmm, mmm-mmm
Hmm-mmm, mmm-mmm

[Outro: Wilbur Soot & Chevy]
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep