[Richie Benaud]
Typical stinking fucking hot day here in Bombay for this opening match of the series, between Australia and India. There was a bit of a fitness cloud hanging over some of the Australian team, apparently three or four of them have been damaging the Dalton all night, after eating a dodgy vindaloo for dinner earlier in the evening.
Nonetheless, Allan Border won the toss and sent India in to bat, and the two Indian openers Kuteez Armanarf and Sunil Havaskar were in trouble right from the start. McDermott and O'Donnell were bowling superbly.
And with the score at none for ten, Havaskar it was who was the first man to be dismissed, when he went for a slash just outside off stump, but he mistimed it completely and it ended up just dribbling down his leg-side. The umpire had no hesitation in dismissing him immediately. You can't do that sort of thing in international one day cricket, not even over here in Bombay. And the puddle left on the pitch by Havaskar's little indiscretion proved to be a real bonus for the Australian bowlers, who now had something to aim at.
And as a matter of fact with the very next delivery, McDermott claimed the wicket of Areal Mudafarkar who came in after Havaskar's dismissal and it was a good ball that from McDermott. It hit the damp patch just in front of the popping crease, Mudafarkar got an outside edge, and Dyer took the simplest of catches.
Kuteez Armanarf was the next to go when he was caught and bowled by Stephen WAUGH! Whoa whoa whoa, what is he good for? And it was a nice piece of bowling that, to dismiss Armanarf for twelve.
Bitovah Koksarkar and Iwanda Weresadunny put on a good partnership of 25 runs, before Koksarkar copped a nasty ball in the mouth and he was forced to retire hurt. It was a bad blow for the Indians who were really struggling at this stage with the score at just three for 45.
The next three wickets went very quickly for just fifteen runs. Weresadunny dismissed with a clean bowl by Simon O'Donnell. And he was followed by Makars Abitrusty who tried to drive O'Donnell back down the pitch. But didn't quite get onto it and was caught at mid wicket by Stephen WAUGH! Whoa whoa whoa, what is he good for? Marvellous catch that, and India in all sorts of trouble.
Rubbish Binny was left out by the selectors last night, but no one collected him and the Indian team manager Madonna Khan Singh made the announcement this morning that Rubbish Binny would in fact play in place of Mohammad Azhabiggun, whom we're told has a badly swollen foot. But I saw him in the dressing room earlier this morning and it didn't look like a foot to me, it looked closer to eight or nine inches but nonetheless. Rubbish Binny is was who was the next man to come in, but a fucking lot of good he was dismissed by Peter Taylor for just three runs.
There was a bit of a wag however in the Indian tail with Snake Sharma and Alarv Slimdusty putting on a good partnership of 52, and almost getting India back into this match. Both men were scoring freely particularly square of the wicket, and it was a brilliant piece of captaincy by Allan Border that eventually broke this pair up, when he decided to bring in a short, backwards square. David Boon the 5' 2" Tasmanian with the flared pants was the perfect choice. And the move played off almost immediately with Boon taking a simple catch just a few balls later off the bowling of McDermott to dismiss Snake Sharma for 32.
Alarv Slimdusty was the next to go when he tried to lift Peter Taylor over mid wicket, and once again a beautiful catch taken by Stephen WAUGH! Whoa whoa whoa, what is he good for?
The last wicket to fall for India was Verifarkin Farni, who was brilliantly caught in the grandstand by Greg Matthews for six. Matthews not even in this touring side, he was over here on holidays, but he still found time to drop by and take a few catches for the Australian team.
The not out batsman was Dryasanuns Nasty and the final score, India all out for a dismal total of 126. A pretty piss poor effort that, and my word it looks like only an absolute disaster could prevent Australia from winning this opening match of the series.