[Verse 1]
I go to college; that makes me so cool
I live in a dorm and show off by the pool
I join the right clubs just to build an impression
I block out thinking; it won't get me ahead

[Pre-Chorus]
My ambition in life
Is to look good on paper
All I want is a slot
In some big corporation

[Verse 2]
Belushi's my hero; I lampoon and I ape him
My news of the world comes from Sports Illustrated
I'm proud of my trophies like my empty beer cans
Stacked in rows up the wall to impress all my friends

[Pre-Chorus]
No, I'm not here to learn
I just want to get drunk
And major in Business
And be taught how to fuck

[Bridge]
Win! Win!
I always play to win
Wanna fit in like a cog
In the faceless machine
[Chorus]
I'm a terminal, terminal, terminal preppie
Terminal, terminal, terminal preppie
Terminal, terminal, terminal, terminal
Terminal, terminal, terminal, terminal

[Pre-Chorus 1]
I want a wife with tits
Who just smiles all the time
In my centerfold world
Filled with Springsteen and wine

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Someday, I'll have power
Someday, I'll have boats
A tract in some suburb
With Thanksgivings to host

[Chorus]
I'm a terminal, terminal, terminal preppie
Terminal, terminal, terminal preppie
Terminal, terminal, terminal preppie