["California Über Alles" Instrumental Introduction]

[Intro: Spoken]
"Hold it!
We've gotta prove we're adults now
We're not a punk rock band, we're a new wave band!"

[Verse 1]
I'm tired of self-respect, I can't afford a car
I wanna be a prefab superstar
I wanna be a tool, don't need no soul
Wanna make big money, playing rock and roll

[Verse 2]
I'll make my music boring, I'll play my music slow
I ain't no artist; I'm a businessman
No ideas of my own
I won't offend or rock the boat
Just sex and drugs and rock and roll

[Bridge]
And here we go
And drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my Payola!
Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my Payola!

[Verse 3]
You'll pay ten bucks to see me on a fifteen-foot-high stage
Fat-ass bouncers kick the shit out of kids who try to dance
If my friends say I've lost my guts
I'll laugh and say, "That's rock and roll!"
[Pre-Chorus]
But there's just one problem...

[Chorus]
Is my cock big enough
Is my brain small enough
For you to make me a star?
Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far
Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far

[Verse 4]
And when I'm rich and meet Bob Hope
We'll shoot some golf and shoot some dope

[Chorus]
Is my cock big enough
Is my brain small enough
For you to make me a star?
Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far
Guitar!

[Guitar Solo]
[Refrain]
"Everybody, put your hands together!"
Is my cock big enough
Is my brain small enough
For you to make me a star?
"Everybody, sing it one time!"
Is my cock big enough, is my brain small enough
For you to make me a star?
"Shut up and dance, everybody!"

[Chorus]
Is my cock big enough
Is my brain small enough
For you to make me a star?
Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far

"One more time!"

[Refrain]
Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far

[Bridge]
And drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my Payola!
Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my Payola!
[Outro: Spoken]
"Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen
We sure do love you, we'll see you next time
Having a good time playing good and loud rock and roll!"