[AGNES]
When your husband treats you like a piece of dirt
When you find the purple lipstick on his shirt
Then, my dear, it's clear the honeymoon is over
And you'd better be on the alert!

[MICHAEL]
When your wife decides that she should wear the pants
When she gets your goat each time she gets the chance
Then, my dear, it's clear the honeymoon is over
And you'd better search for some romance!

[BOTH]
Time you saw your
Old, trusty lawyer
Ask him whether
You should find another nest to feather!

[AGNES]
When you husband suddenly becomes the swell-

[MICHAEL]
When you wife is bored by every joke you tell -

[BOTH]
Then, my dear, it's clear the honeymoon is over
And you may as well
Pack up, move out
Tell him, "Darling
Fare thee well!
Time you saw your
Old, trusty lawyer
Ask him whether
You should find another nest to feather!

[AGNES]
When your husband starts to play cherchez la femme-

[MICHAEL]
When you wife is always ready to condemn-

[BOTH]
Then, my dear, it's clear the honeymoon is over-
And you may as well

[MICHAEL]
Play the scene out

[AGNES]
Make your exit

[MICHAEL]
Hit the climax

[AGNES]
Pull the curtain
[MICHAEL]
Pack up

[AGNES]
Move out

[BOTH]
Tell him, "Darling!
Together forever!
Looks more like it's never!
Fare thee well!"
Go to hell!