My mother and I were just disconnected, man
You know, she gave us birthdays and she gave us holidays
But she had to work hard
And I think that she
You know, I don't know I don't know if she had the tools, really to make me feel love
(I don't know if she had the tools, really to make me feel love)
So anyhow, I got emancipated at 14 I ended up living with a family for the first time, I had my own room and I had peace I had some peace in my life
I mean just, like, moments where I just felt like I could rеlax a little bit
But this thing inside of me of not feeling okay was still vеry much there
You know, I developed issues with women where I had a really tough time relating to women and, and trusting women and feeling okay and being able to commit to relationships
And at some point

[Pre-Chorus]
You know, life went on things were going okay
But I started using cocaine
Using, using cocaine a little bit

And I liked cocaine because I would get it and do it by myself at home
At night (at night)
And it just made me feel good and I didn't have to be around other people
I don't know it just made me feel something
It made me feel something
And for so long inside of myself I'd had so many years, really of creating my own feelings on the outside of me but not really having them inside of me
You know, like I just didn't have feelings inside like, I just I
If I wanted to feel something I had to think it up and then act it out and display it as I'd seen it displayed in, like, television or movies or from others
But, the inside of me, there wasn't a lot going on
[Chorus]
Life went on things were going okay
But I started using cocaine
Using, using cocaine a little bit
You know, life went on things were going okay
But I started using cocaine
Using, using cocaine a little bit

[Outro]
Using cocaine, using cocaine
Using, using cocaine
Using cocaine a little bit
Using cocaine, using cocaine
Using cocaine, using cocaine
Use, using cocaine
Using cocaine
Use, using cocaine
Using cocaine