[Intro]
[Heather] Okay, so, without further ado, we are going to talk about Dr Suess, beginning with a poem that you have written
[Bret] Without further ado
[Heather] I-wait, it appears to be, so I have not heard it yet, I'm looking forward to it
And it appears to be written by one Dr Weinsteinium
[Bret] Yes
[Heather] Which is how I refer to you sometimes, when you call me on the phone, and we yell at each other

My sensе is that now they have gone far too far
Thе offenses they claim have grown just too bizarre
They say Dr Seuss wrote books that did harm
That we shouldn't be fooled by his fanciful charm
But they must assume that we're dumber than dumb
That we'll take their word and go numb and succumb
But I think they've guessed wrong, or at least we can hope
That no one of sound mind could be such dope

Like everyone else, Dr Suess had his flaws
He made some missteps, he got dirt on his paws
But he owned his mistakes, made amends and grew wise
Illustrated his growth as his heart grew in size
Suess was a model of how we should behave
In confronting our flaws, we should all be so brave
And if we are able, put lessons to rhyme
For a rhyme drives a point with rhythm through time
[Chorus]
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
For a rhyme drives a point with rhythm through time
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
For a rhyme drives a point – rhyme drives a point – rhyme drives

Those with an urge to burn witches and books
We should face them with courage and Suessian looks
We should block them with baffles that baffle them good
So, our descendants will know where it is that we stood
Let them read Dr Suess, let them read it, I say
Let them read the whole catalog, don't you take it away
It's not yours to take
It belongs to us all
Your authority is fake and your bluff we now call
Straight to hell with this wokeness
Kids can handle the truth
Acquisition of nuance is the purpose of youth
If we shield them from slight, scrapes and bumps, they'll grow weak
They'll fear violence in innocent words that we speak
And who wants to live as a quivering wreck?
Minds like a siv hiding under the deck
Have them come up
Stand out tall and robust
Although history is full of events most unjust
That's not the whole story
No, not by a lot
We've made progress of plenty in both fairness and thought
Though, we've miles yet to go and we've no time to rest
The west is best suited to master this test
So, we must protect it, stand fast and defend
Values that must never be brought to an end
Equality is good, a most worthy objective
It must be defended from naive invective
[Chorus]
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
For a rhyme drives a point with rhythm through time
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
For a rhyme drives a point – rhyme drives a point – rhyme drives

We must keep on and continue to strive
To keep progress going and keep hope alive
Doesn't matter your color, your sex or your creed
Opportunity is the thing all sneetches need
Irrespective of stars that they have or they don't
Regardless of things that they will or they won't
We know how to fix this It's in all those books
Lodged now deep in our minds and the crannies and nooks
Have a look and you'll see, Suess is in there, I swear
So give him a good dusting off, if you dare
He taught us a lot that we now need to know
How is it he knew all the places we'd go?
I'll now leave you with this one final thought
I'm aware of the hard place in which we're now caught
Can we please cut it out and not cancel and mock?
Can we team up together to dislodge this rock?
Cause we do need to exit this historical phase
Do you get it yet? Or must I rephrase?
We're all in it together
You can like that or not
Bound up as one, we will prosper or rot
We have one tiny earth It's all that we roam
That's what astronauts tell us when returning home
And I'm sure that they're right
As I'm sure you're aware
So, treat this rock and each other with the greatest of care
[Chorus]
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
For a rhyme drives a point with rhythm through time
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
If we are able, put lessons to rhyme
For a rhyme drives a point – rhyme drives a point – rhyme drives

[Outro]
[Heather] Wonderful. That's so good
[Bret] Thank you
[Heather] Wow. That's truly remarkable
[Heather] So, God, Suess did so, I don't mean to call him God Suess
[Bret] It's all right
[Heather] Okay, I'll call him God Suess. God Suess