Cinderella's on her bedroom floor
She's got a crush on the guy at the liquor store
'Cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymore and
She forgets why she came here
Sleeping Beauty's in a foul mood for shame
She says "None for you dear prince, I'm tired today"
I'd rather sleep my whole life away
Than have you keep me from dreaming

'Cause I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried 'bout the maiden though
You know she's only waiting on the next best thing (next best thing)

Snow White is doing dishes again 'cause
What else could you do with seven itty-bitty men?
Sends them to bed and she calls up a friend
Says "Would you meet me at midnight?"
The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair says
"Would have cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair"
I'll have to find another tower somewhere and keep away from the windows

'Cause I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried 'bout the maiden though
You know she's only waiting on the next best thing (next best thing)

Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom
Man made up a story said that I should believe him
Go and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsight
But I don't want the next best thing
So I sing, I hold my head down and I break these walls 'round me
Can't take no more of your fairytale love

I don't care for your fa-a-airytales
You're so worried 'bout the maiden though you know she's only waiting
On the next best thing
I don't care
I don't care
Worried 'bout the maiden though you know she's only waiting
Spent her whole life being graded on the sanctity of patience
And a dumb appreciation
But the story needs some mending and a better happy ending
Cause I don't want the next best thing
No no I don't want the next best thing