[Verse 1]
Like many a Mael
I get angst in my pants
And goddamn it to hell
It don't help if I dance

And you, you're not doing too well
All the blogs are about you, girl
They caught you in the park after dark
Giving head to a statue, girl
Oh, cruel!

[Hook] x2
Didn't mean to do you no harm
I just underestimated my charm
And if I ever bother to tell you the truth
Oh, baby, you're too much sugar
For my sweet tooth

[Verse 2]
You're on your honeymoon
And you're sending me notes
You hope to see me soon
You've got "see" wrapped
In quotes
I used to find it funny to say
"What's your man got to do with me?"
But then I saw him downtown
Placing bets on the hounds
He was as big as a house!
We can't be messin' around!

[Hook] x2

[Outro]
Every time we kiss
It's like an inside joke
I always miss
Our love is like a tug-of-war
Don't touch me, girl
I can't hug no more!