[Verse 1: Silly Stu]
I wanna be a YouTuber back in 2009
I wanna be the top before the introduction of Vine
I want some DC sneakers and some flat iron bangs
I wanna save Markiplier from those L.A. gangs (That's why they like Cheerios)

[Verse 2: Jay Eazy]
I wanna be a YouTuber in 2009
Like I'm DJ Delz showin' off his Retro 1 Highs
Salad Fingers 'cause I got that light green on my mind
Ryan Higa handshake wit' my hat to the side
Really tryin' not to laugh watching Try Not To Laughs
Crushin' on Jennifer's body though it's wack when she acts
Random jump cuts look like I'm just chattin' to chat
Wish every day's 2009, fuck a blast from the past

[Verse 3: Silly Stu]
I want a-
An epic intro with an epic graphic
And a green Toyota Prius for that L.A. traffic
I want everything at my fingertips to put smiles on people's faces
And unlike most at the time, I'd do it without being racist
I'd have a ghostwritten book with a printed duct tape cover
About how my friends and I make bank just goofing off with each other
And how my family's handled me with such condescension
But I get the longest line at every convention
(Yay!)
[Verse 4: Silly Stu]
I won't care what anyone thinks
If she thinks I'm fine, bro I'll say I'm Rhetty to Link
If I break my mind goin' through the real and the fake
I could take it if I knew that I share the best things I could possibly make
And I might be a YouTuber still in 2013
A Streamy winner spittin' cinnamon on every screen
It wouldn't be for money, just for spreadin' joy
And I'd look bitchin' in that kitchen for the orange to annoy

[Verse 5: Silly Stu]
They're human beings and never algorithms
Knowin' they'd view my things like they were hypnotism
But I think I was just born too late
'Cause ads are 30 seconds on the Roku now guess I'll just sit here and wait
Shut up!
A YouTuber in 2009
I'd be the hottest thing before the introduction of Vine
Hatsune's world would be mine and if you caught the Rewind
My funny moments would compile like I was Family Guy (That's why they like Cheerios)