It's 2018 which means everybody's offended by everything
Don't worry, I got a way to fix it

Feel like you're offended everyone these days?
Feel like you're losing friends no matter what you say?
There's a way to say offensive thing and not look bad
Just say these little 2 words and no one's allowed to be mad

You're annoying, go away!
No offense!
You smell like a wet bandaid!
No offense!
Your mama is really lame!
No offense!
You've got a saggy face!
No offense!

See? I said these offensive things, but I'm in the clear
So, go ahead and say anything you want to, my dear
No consequences, no apologies, you're totally cool!
Apparently 2 words can help you get away with being a tool!

I hope you get a paper cut!
No offense!
Even your grandma thinks you suck!
No offense!
Your face looks exactly like your butt!
No offense!
I bet comic sans is your favourite font!
No offense!