Verse 1:
It was 12-18th-92, snoozed peacefully, like a baby
As it turns out, I used to be solitary in an incubator room
Unreceptive to touch, I preferred that than being in “Rude Mood”
The solstice was frostbitten, stars fell, a week before Christ’s
Say what you want Ras Kass, I had a premonition my Soul’s On Ice
Here’s why; I breathed liquid nitrogen, for oxygen is oxytocin in
Aged-5 toddlers who had estrogen, before becoming Boys 2 Men
When I 1st jacked off frost, to blast snowmen, I got my snowballs
Ripping off Jack Frost's, he hailed as me the Abominable Snowman
Fuck jizzing, that is so ice age activity, because as winter came
I invented ice skeeting, figured-out how to ejaculate permafrost in
Global warming I might as well own up to it, I'm a dick
In fact it's an icicle pick, yes the very same one, used by
Climbers who scaled atop the ridges of Mt. Everest's summit
To shiv-burrr, shank the Yeti’s flaky oblique abdomens
Though I, sickle this popsicle, a blizzard treat to Dairy Queen
All and any bitches, to use it as labial majora dysfunction
Turning their raspberry sorbets, out into frosty, blue waffles
Who can suck my creampuffy, Coldstones for dessert
Going hypothermic and kept it in, to never thaw the moment
So I freezerburnt their boxes shut, until the summer's back again

Hook 1:
Gave ‘em Smurfette bitches, my early Ex-Mas gifts
You water-stained losers are too late and stiffened
I consolidated to the 3rd state, you Zero fucks, just snowed in
Already, I've been descended, another centigrade below Celsius

Verse 2:
Snow Whitened the darkest of women, frozen flashed their smiles
Because I wore out Sub-Zero’s spine, for a new bling necklace
Had their cervix eggos dripping soggy as my cervical vertebrae
Got colder than hockey goulashes, permafrosted within rinks
Though don’t say I haven’t even snowed in your shortness of breath
When I pushed pucks, like feeding T-bone steaks to polar bears
Made one trade, Diet Coca-Cola and go back to polar bare-slabs
That way, it hits the world news, y’all shall name me Slumberjacker
No longer will any of you, hibernate on my slept on success
It maybe hearsay, but I made Jill, jack off by barely exhaling
On her clitoris, jilling opaque streams like an angel fountain
Spitting gracefully out of St. Lucia's oral orbicularis
A sight that was quite gracious, because I didn’t move mountains
Turned the Himalayas into glaciers, bystanders stood still as
Emperor Penguins, I scalpel, cubed sculptures instantly into Ice-T
Glasses of gallery benefactors from L.A. to New York City
Created art from frigidness, so go to the 9th circle w/refreshments
I’ve always been a factor, before the word “Cool” was known
To cavemen, oddly you weren't even anything close to X-Factor’s

Hook 2:
(Breathes slow)
I am an abomination because I took the heat
Out of summers in the Middle East for starters
And Obama’s nation couldn’t stop me when I
Keep having to continue Omb-bombing nations

Verse 3:
I brought forth nuclear winter, got all governments
To legislate disarmament treaties and construct antifreeze
Into firing up the next cold war against irradiated stockpiling
Having families caroling, as hearses past in cars rolling in tint
Put murky stockings, filled with soot, piling in every chimney
Lacrimal ducts on babies, looking like glossy tributaries
Every funeral procession that goes on, is a merry holiday for me
Obituaries are tributes sent to my North Pole mailing address
Letters full of praise from the east, but hate in the west
Down south, the blessings I give are chill windy kisses of death
Would regret all of this, but my favorite color is Blue, I digress
Running low, almost empty on empathy, since I stay fuzzy
By shoving my South Pole down one of those ho’s as I came
Yelling “Ho’ Ho’ Ho” as I peered at Santa’s corpse, that I put
On Satan’s pitchfork, since that elf never cared about some jolly
Bastard who gives kids coal for being poor on December 24th
So I holla Merry Christmas to all the privileged, who dine on forks

Outro:
Harnessed the strength of a boulder
Formidable as Mother Russia
I showed her I still stood bolder
Than the Swiss Alps', to which I gave my cold shoulder