[Spoken: Kurtis 1]
Honey I'll be back in a bit, ok? I'm just heading to the park

[Spoken: Kurtis 2]
Oh, uh, can I come?

[Spoken: Kurtis 1]
Oh, I don't know if you heard me. I'm going to the park. Outdoors. Yeah, sorry you can't come. I'm going to meet my outdoor boyfriend. But, I'll be back in a few hours, though, ok?

[Spoken: Kurtis 2]
Right. Da-doy

[Verse 1]
I don't want to be an indoor boyfriend anymore
What can I say?

[Verse 2]
I want to go outside, just once!
Oh please, I’ve been inside this house for one thousand days

[Pre-Chorus]
I want to play at the park and watch a small colony of sexy ants
They can crawl into my head and then make their merry little way into my pants

[Chorus]
I'm losing my indoor mind
Outdoor boyfriend, why can't I?
If you could just be so kind...
Please just let me go outside
[Spoken: Kurtis 1]
Wow, babe

[Spoken: Kurtis 2]
You heard all of that?

[Spoken: Kurtis 1]
Every word

[Spoken: Kurtis 2]
And? What do you think?

[Spoken: Kurtis 1]
Babe, I had no idea that you were so bad at singing

[Spoken: Kurtis 2]
Aw

[Spoken: Kurtis 1]
Well, hey. Maybe you can work on that while I'm at the park with my outdoor boyfriend. Uh, I just forgot my hat, so I'll see you in a couple hours, babe! (Leaves)

[Spoken: Kurtis 2]
Dammit, she's right