Hi F.B.I., I see you've found my channel
Director, you're looking lovely--- hey, is that new flannel?
I bet you're probably here because you wanna know
Why I turned up in all those manifestos

Well, what I think is important to understand
Is that I'm not some ringleader, okay, I am just a man
Making videos online to elicit a few laughs
So I'm not responsible for all those terrorist attacks

Listen, it's satire, it's parody, I was just joking
Can you really blame me for one or two shootings?
Okay, okay, I know it was five
That's probably why you think I'm the guy that made all those people die

But I make jokes online, broad subjects I explore
And fine, they're edgy sometimes
But it's edge and nothing more
C'mon, F.B.I., you have to believe
That I never really say anything that I mean

Y'know, this is a great opportunity to talk about mental health
And the broader social issues causing people to act out
Y'know, maybe instead of all this focus on me
We should be turning our heads towards, uh, society

I am sorry, I find it chilling that my brand was implicated with so many mass killings
I am so so sorry, y'know, in the abstract
For the victims of those horrible, horrible attacks

Attacks which, by the way, I am not to blame for
For I'm a performer, my job's to entertain
I never thought that saying we should go kill groups of people
Would lead to people going and killing groups of people

I'm so sorry that people don't understand parody
I'm so sorry that I've lost so much money
I'm so sorry that people misinterpret what I said
It's real sad that all those kids got shot in the head

But, I am not responsible for anything I say
Irony and satire frees me from blame
I keep criticism at bay as I make the world worse
And you'll let me get away with it because I'm speaking this in verse
Huh? Oh, oh, I am getting arrested. Oh. Yeah, that's fair