[Verse 1: Dan Andriano]
Is this thing cursed?
This goddamn thing's the worst
Now one look in that direction
And everything starts to hurt
Is this thing cursed?
It's been around for years
And everytime my boat's about tits up
That goddamn thing is near

[Chorus]
I tried to throw it in the river
But it washed up in my sink
And now the city cut my water
And it's all I have to drink

[Verse 2: Dan Andriano and Matt Skiba]
Is this thing cursed?
If it is then I'm the jerk
Who keeps on hanging around
When I simply should just burn it to the ground
Maybe it's some kind of spell
That I've been living under
Collecting coins found near a nightmare wishing well

[Bridge: Dan Andriano and Matt Skiba]
Coldest regards signed my name and sealed the card
Tried to leave it all behind me and almost blew up in my car
Is this thing cursed?
Is this thing cursed?
[Verse 3: Matt Skiba and *Dan Andriano*]
Is this thing cursed?
My haunted head aches so much worse
Than those that can't remember
How dismemberment works
*Is this thing cursed?
It's been around for years
And everytime my life's about tits up
That goddamn thing is near*

[Chorus: Dan Andriano and Matt Skiba]
I tried to throw it in the river
But it washed up in my sink
And now the city cut my water
And it's all I have to drink
Is this thing cursed?