[Intro: Ed Vilderman as Sean Paul, Tre Melvin as Leigh-Anne Pinnock]
I am Sean Paul, I was big back in two-thousand three
How'd you get on my phone?
We used to date, don't act like you do not know me
What?
So now in order to gain relevance with teens
I'm gonna ruin your new song with my singing
God, no!

[Verse 1: Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Little Mix, Peter Gilroy as Perrie Edwards, Bart Baker as Jade Thirlwall, *Alex Farnham as Jesy Nelson* & (Sean Paul)]
I call my squad (Hey)
Girls, we got a problem (What?)
Has been Sean Paul, is getting featured in
Our new hit pop song hair
That can't be, it's not fair, no
Check out his pics, Can't believe you dated
*There's just one thing to do now, get wasted (Burp)*
This is like a nightmare
Hey look there
I just saw Sean Paul out there, I'm sure it was him I swear
I don't see him anywhere
(I hope they don't look down here)

[Chorus 1: Little Mix, Philip Hersh as Simon Cowell]
We're just another generic pop group
Created and managed by Simon Cowell
My next cash cow 'cause One Direction sucks now
But good pop groups always have five members
We're just a low-budget Fifth Harmony
Like 98 Degrees, was to *NSYNC and Backstreet
[Interlude: Perrie Edwards]
Pizza guy's here!
Okay

[Verse 2: Jade Thirlwall, Perrie Edwards, Little Mix, Sean Paul, *Jesy Nelson*]
Why did we order this many pizzas?
Hey, it's Sean Paul, ew, get out you geezer!
This song's ours, get lost
Please let Sean da Paul be involved
Maybe if we give ourselves haircuts (*Burp*)
Sean Paul will not recognize us (*Burp*)
And he'll get out our hair
*I'll also cut down there*
I have got to get in there
Get my hands on all their hair
And cover my head that's bare
So they'll think I am younger

[Chorus 2: Little Mix, Jesy Nelson, Jade Thirlwall, Simon Cowell, *Sean Paul*]
(All girls) Three of us look like perky teenagers
But I look like I'm at least forty-one
'Cause she's my mom
Shh, be quiet, just act young!
Who are you? *I am the electrician
I'm here to fix the electricity*
Ew, it is Sean P!
Jerk, get out of our song, please!
[Breakdown: Little Mix]
Da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da, hey

[Verse 3: Sean Paul, Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Little Mix]
Yo, yo
Leave us alone
Why are you being such a hater?
You are trying to ruin our song No, I'm in Jamaica
As you can see I'm in a tropical location
I'm definitely not just hiding in your kitchen
If someone's trying to get in your house, it's not me
Then who's the douchebag in my kitchen with a green screen?
That is the final straw, you freak, stop with the stalking!
Don't lock the door, I just want your hair 'cause I'm balding!

[Bridge: Little Mix, Bart Baker as 911 Operator]
We've got to call the cops on that weirdo
911?
This is an emergency! We need help, please!
I am sending the police

[Outro: George Kimmel IV and Pete Forthun as Police Officers, Little Mix, Sean Paul, Perrie Edwards, *Jesy Nelson*]
What seems to be the problem ladies?
Sean Paul broke in the house to steal our hair
Make him disappear
Where's he?
He's in there
Sean Paul, so mi go se den
I stuck a your hair to a my head wit' glue
Now I like am twenty-two
Can I now be in a dis vid wit' you?
That's it, you're coming with us, psycho!
(Sean Paul arguing)
*You know, with that hair, I would totally bang him*
Mom! (*Burp*)