[Intro]
Meaningless upbeat happy song - 2, 3, 4

[Verse 1]
Do you suffer from depression? Well, if you don't, maybe you should, because the world is a violent, ugly place and the only people who can't see that are idiots and the blind, and believe me, brothers and sisters, blind people can smell how bad it is out there! Hey, here’s Joe and I with some free advice:

[Chorus]
Don't trust the happy, the happy are insane
If you see someone smiling, run, get away!
Don’t trust the happy, the happy are insane
And if they try to hug you, break out the pepper spray
'Cause you can't trust the happy

[Verse 2]
If you didn't check the box next to “I am often sad" there's something seriously wrong with you, 'cause it's a terrible world and it's filled to the rafters with cretins and morons, I mean, have you ever seen one of those child beauty pageants? Yes, it's an easy target, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be a target. I mean, haven't these people ever read Harlan Ellison's "Our Little Miss"?

[Chorus]
Don't trust the happy, the happy are insane
If you see someone smiling, run, get away!
Don’t trust the happy, the happy are insane
The happy are insane

[Outro]
If they tell you Jesus loves you, run away!