[BENNY]
We've had our little meet-n-greet
We've had our little fun
But it's like the movie Highlander:
"There can be only one."

You gotta have the heart for battle, son
Like our forefathers did
You can't be no wet-behind-the-ears
Snot-nosed little kid!

Does that sound too rough? Well too bad! Tough!
Better get ready for more!
That was tame, just the name of the game
What the hell you think we came here for?

If you can't hunt with the big dogs
You better get out of the way - HA!
I ain't come here to make no friends
I didn't come here to play!
You can't get the thrill of the chase and kill
If you're cryin' there in your cups!
If you can't hunt with the big dogs
Stay on the porch with the pups!

[KELLI]
I'm gettin' tired of you and your mouth!
Your gums keep flappin'
Don't you ever stop talkin'?!
[BENNY]
It's like the first time that you kill a deer
And it looks you in the eye
That intense exhilaration
As you watch that creature die!
You watch that creature die!

[GREG]
You don't scare me, mister!
I'll be here all night!
I ain't afraid to kick your ass!
You wanna fight? Let's fight!

[JANIS]
Well, you talk real big
Like you own this rig
The master with the master plan
But I saw your wife in that truck you won
And she was drivin' with another man!

[BENNY, spoken]
Even when you all drop off - when each and every one of you is ancient history - I'll stay on! By myself! Until I beat the world's record!

(sung)
And if you're gonna squirm
When you eat the worm
You better stick to your 7-Ups!
If you can't hunt with the big dogs...
...Stay on the porch with the puppies
Wade in the pond with the guppies
Run to your ma with the wussies
Get in the barn with the pussies!
Stay on the porch with the pups!
[DON]
He's got a filthy mouth!
And a filthy mind!
And the man ain't nothin' but a mule's behind!

[BENNY]
Stay on the porch with the pups!

[JANIS]
Yeah, I saw your wife in that truck of yours
And she was drivin' with another man!

[BENNY]
Stay on the porch with the puppies!

(The following lyrics overlap)

[HEATHER & GREG]
Old man! Old old man!
You're gonna die soon!
You're an old old man!

[BENNY]
Stay on the porch with the puppies!

[KELLI]
I'm so tired of you and your mouth!
[JANIS]
Yeah, I saw your wife in that truck of yours
And she was drivin' with another man!

[HEATHER & GREG]
Old man! Old old man!

[BENNY]
Stay on the porch with the pups!

[JESUS]
I'm gonna kick your ass now!

[J.D., spoken]
Cuervo!

[NORMA]
Lord, forgive him!
Lord, forgive him!

[JESUS]
I'll show you who's a tough man!

[BENNY]
You better stay on the porch with the pups!