[JANIS]
That young lady there
With the legs and the hair
Well, she's cheated on this since day one!

Those damn crooked judges
Allowed all her fudges
Pretendin' they ain't seen 'em done!

Fair is fair
And this ain't fair!
I'll tear her hair out
I don't care!
I'm weary
And my neck's got cricks
Plumb worn out from these politics
Now me and Don are rednecks
But we ain't no goddamn hicks!
It's a fix!
It's all a fix!

(spoken)
I've seen it everywhere! Everywhere!

(sung)
I went down to SNAP
Tried to get me some food stamps
Down to our very last quarter
They gave me some crap
We was livin' too well-
We was livin' on
[JANIS & DON]
Popcorn and water!

[JANIS]
And the people in healthcare
Hell, they're 0-for-2 there!
You're sick? We don't care!

[JANIS & DON]
Rot in bed!

[JANIS]
They turned Mama down
"Preexisting conditions."
Yeah, she was old!
Now she's dead!

[JANIS & DON]
Everywhere you go, it's all the same!
We're just pawns in their crooked game!
The little ones get cheated, and who's to blame?
Just dirty little minds
Playin' dirty little tricks!
Oh, it's a fix! It's a fix!

[JANIS]
All y'all know I ain't no liar
Anywhere there's smoke, there's fire
Y'all done slipped up that's competed
And I should know, because I cheated
I'm just one more fool that's cheated!
(spoken)
My sunglasses was slippin' off my nose, and I took my hand off by mistake!

(sung)
That's right, I messed up
Least I have fessed up!
Though nobody saw my hands roam
I could've won it
But God seen I done it
So goddummit, I'm going home!
I'm going home!

[FRANK, spoken]
You sad to see your wife give up?

[DON, spoken]
She ain't givin' up; she's standin' up!

[JANIS]
I leave with nothin'
But I got my pride
Least I was honest and I told I lied!
The whole world's crooked
And then once you've died
You even got to bribe the boatman
At the River Styx!
Oh, it's a fix!
[DON]
It's a fix!

[JANIS & DON]
It's a fix!