[Verse 1]
Sometimes, it's not our tears that measure our pain
But it's the fake smiles we put on every day
I'm so tired of always acting like I'm okay
But it's just so much easier than even trying to explain
How I feel to all these people who just can't relate
When I smile, I wonder if they can see it's fake
Or if they can see the pain inside my very eyes
So I've become a master now at always wearing this disguise
Because I'm hurtin'
But I try my best to never show it
Ask how I am, I say I'm good, but I'm at the lowest
That I have been for as long as I've been alive
I'm hurtin' but won't let anyone know about what's inside of me
I'm in the depths of my own mind
I feel like I'm drowning
I'm fighting demons every day, but I feel surrounded
This is a battle, and I'm losing, I can't hold on no longer
They say you grow from all your pain, but I'm not getting stronger
I'm getting weaker as every day passes by
They told me that loves the answer, I responded that's a lie
'Cause I was in love and came out more broken than I went in
Now every single day, I'm just waiting for Heaven, 'cause

[Chorus]
I don't wanna be alive
But I don't wanna take my life
'Cause I'm afraid of what's on the other side
Of this
Oh, I don't wanna lose my mind
And I don't wanna say goodbye
Oh, I just wanna fall into a world of blissfulness
[Verse 2]
But every day is feeling just a little bit colder
And every day, I feel this weight that's falling down on my shoulders
I understand it's in my brain, but I still feel I can't hold it
I feel like I am just a man, but I'm trying to carry boulders of weight
To distract me from this pain
Maybe I am just a fool that's inflicting this in my vains
And I'm on the highway that I've been trying to avoid
And still I wake up every day shocked that I'm still destroyed
Oh I

[Chorus]
I don't wanna don't wanna be alive
But I don't wanna take my life
'Cause I'm afraid of what's on the other side
Of this
Oh, I don't wanna lose my mind
And I don't wanna say goodbye
Oh, I just wanna fall into a world of blissfulness

[Post-Chorus]
Oh, I don't wanna be alive
But I don't wanna take my life
'Cause I'm afraid of what's on the other side
Of this