[Chorus]
Such pleasant company
In Mrs. Stately's garden
Saltines and jasmine tea
In Mrs. Stately's garden

[Verse 1]
Did you hear the Miller girl was found by Cooper's Pond
(Oh, what a shame, she was so young)
There has even been talk of a child
(Well, the Millers have always been wild)
Poor thing

[Chorus]
A new cake recipe
In Mrs. Stately's garden
A minor tragedy
In Mrs. Stately's garden

[Verse 2]
The boy that she'd been seeing went to Watertown
(She must have thought he'd let her down)
Do you think he knows what she has done
(My boy Roger would never have run)
Poor thing
[Chorus]
The ladies fill the chairs
In Mrs. Stately's garden
A scandal fills the air
In Mrs. Stately's garden

[Verse 3]
I don't think we should see Marge Miller anymore
(I know I'm right and that's for sure)
You can't mingle with people like that
(Get up, Alice, you're crushing my hat)
Poor thing

[Chorus]
Lots of activity
In Mrs. Stately's garden
But there's no sympathy
In Mrs. Stately's garden

[Chorus]
Next week they'll come for tea
In Mrs. Stately's garden
Next week it may be me
In Mrs. Stately's garden