When I arrived I didn't know what they saying
I spent 18 hours on a plane
But then in English a beggar said "Be a dear"
I said "Bitch I just spend all my money getting here!"

At McDonald's grab a beer, roll into the glass sphere
Restaurant's got a chandelier, Leah's got a nice rear
To be honest it's a miracle that I'm alive because none of these French people ever learned how to drive, come on

That shit cray
That shit gay
That shit cray
What the fuck!

The guy said you better check out this hall
I said "Man, you better check out this dog"
They even had a painting by Shrek
But look at over that guy's dick!

There's a dog
There's a dog
There's a dog
There's a dog

There's a dog
There's a dog
There's a dog
There's a dog
And, there's a dog!

Shoe's on my feet, walking on streets
Provided by Dunkey, rapping on beats
Grease on my hands, from eating pizza
I reached out, and touched the Mona Lisa

The guard said "You can't do that man!"
Uh Huh, I'm American!

This is where they buried King Tut
Meanwhile, look at Leah's butt
They got my favorite joint here, Pizza Hut
We went somewhere nice instead

The waiter said "Take a seat"
"My name is Mona Mi what would ya like to eat?"
I looked him dead in the eyes, you already know that I want the French Fries!