I have nothing to put in my stew, you see
Not a bone or a bean or a black-eyed pea
So I'll just climb in the pot to see
If I can make a stew out of me

I'll put in some pepper and salt and I'll sit
In the bubbling water, I won't scream a bit
I'll sing while I simmer, I'll smile while I'm stewing
I'll taste myself often to see how I'm doing

I'll stir me around with this big wooden spoon
And serve myself up at a quarter to noon
So bring out your stew bowls, you gobblers and snackers
Farewell, and I hope you enjoy me with crackers